Overview
Coaches, mentors, and other supportive adults play a critical role in children’s development. They may be some of the few adults that a young person trusts. Because of this, people in these roles may hear from young people about experiences of violence or harm. Coaches and mentors may also be in the position to notice warning signs of abuse or harm, ask about them, and help intervene.
For trans young people, access to affirming adults is especially important. Many coaches and mentors may be working in sex-segregated programs – such as boys or girls sports, or after-school programs for a specific gender. This can create barriers for trans youth seeking support.
Coaches, mentors, and supportive adults can reduce harm and strengthen belonging when they affirm trans and nonbinary young people, protect their privacy, recognize barriers to participation, and respond clearly to safety concerns.
Adults can learn how to support trans youth.
When a young person has previously socially transitioned, adults can:
- Affirm their gender by using the correct name and pronouns and encouraging their participation in spaces of their affirmed gender.
- Avoid asking invasive questions about their history and medical status. Intervene if you see others asking inappropriate questions.
- Never ask to see a young person’s body undressed or ask them to prove their gender by showing their body.
- Most young trans people just want to be treated like all the other kids. Often no special considerations are needed for their participation.
- Protect the young person’s privacy, including their trans history, body, prior name, or other information.
When a young person is beginning to socially transition:
- Listen to their questions and concerns.
- Share information about options about continued participation in sports or activities, if necessary because of gender-specific practices (for example, how you can help them switch to the boy’s team, if that’s what they want).
- When participation rules are unclear or contested, focus on the young person’s stated needs, the least restrictive option for inclusion, and any policy steps required to support safe participation without unnecessary disclosure.
- Use their affirming name and pronouns, with their permission. Some people will want you to know, but not be out to their team yet, others are telling you because they are ready for everyone to use their new name.
- Respect their privacy.
- Continue to provide encouragement and support.
When a young person is exploring their gender or deepening their understanding of their nonbinary identity:
- Listen to what they share with you.
- Believe that more than two genders exist and affirm their gender as they share it with you.
- Share information about options for continued participation in sports and if or how their gender may influence which teams they play on.
- Respect their privacy and never ask a young person to prove their gender through their body or words.
- Let the young person know that you are there for them and that they do not have to have all of the answers regarding their gender.
By creating trans-affirming environments for all young people, you will increase their safety.
Trans Specific Dynamics
Sports and community activities are an important part of youth development and can support healing because they create connection, structure, belonging, and opportunities for young people. Connection is an antidote to trauma. To learn more about trans youth and sports see Let Us Play.
Young people need adults who are trans-affirming, who help make spaces safer, and intervene when violence, harassment, exclusion, or harm occurs.
Coaches and mentors should explain confidentiality limits before a young person discloses sensitive information, using clear language such as: “I will keep what you share private unless I am required to act to help keep you or someone else safe.” They should know the mandatory reporting requirements of their role and connect the young person to supportive options whenever a report or referral is required. When trans young people know what might happen if they share specific information, they can make informed choices and have more agency over their lives. (see mandatory reporting page for more details on considerations)
Locker rooms and bathrooms that require use based on “sex assigned at birth” create increased risks of violence and harassment for trans/nonbinary youth. Coaches and mentors should plan ahead by identifying trans-affirming options, asking the young person what would help them feel safe, and making clear that privacy accommodations should never isolate, single out, or punish the young person. Having conversations with other staff, even if there are not any out trans young people, will help ensure better outcomes when trans youth are present.
Common Barriers in Coaching and Mentoring Settings
Denied access to participation.
Participation rules for trans young people vary across states, schools, and athletic organizations, so coaches and mentors should understand the policies that affect their setting and avoid making assumptions about what is allowed. For state-by-state information, see Movement Advancement Project tracking of youth sports participation bans.
Some policies attempt to ban trans children, especially transgender girls, from participating in sports; others create invasive restrictions that can discourage participation and increase scrutiny. Coaches and mentors should follow required policy steps without adding extra restrictions, while helping young people access the most inclusive participation option available.
Even without formal restrictions, gendered sports and activities can be difficult for trans and nonbinary young people to navigate because harassment, discrimination, and unsafe locker room or changing-room access may deter participation. Adults should anticipate these risks and address them proactively rather than waiting for a young person to experience harm.
Trans and nonbinary young people may also lose access to sports and mentoring when they are pushed out of schools or other youth-serving settings. Harassment at school leads to higher dropout rates. Many trans youth, especially trans girls of color, are experiencing higher rates of punishment and discipline. These factors, which can include suspension and school disconnection, can all reduce access to the programs and adult support that are often attached to school participation.
Coaches and mentors should reduce these barriers by planning for inclusive participation before conflicts arise, protecting youth privacy, and advocating for the least restrictive path to safe involvement.
Prior Harm from Adults
Transgender youth may have experienced abuse, neglect, microaggressions, or lack of support from adults, which can make it harder to trust a coach or mentor. Adults should treat reluctance, hesitation, or guarded communication as understandable and should earn trust through consistency rather than demanding it.
Trauma may also affect participation in group or team activities by making trust, crowds, schedules, or performance pressure more difficult. Coaches and mentors should interpret these challenges as possible support needs, not as lack of commitment.
Adults should respond by building trust gradually, offering predictable support, and avoiding pressure for young people to disclose more than they choose.
Distrust of Coaches or Mentors
If a coach or mentor has not shown that they are trans-affirming, a young person may not know whether that adult is safe to trust. Consistent affirming language, privacy protection, and respectful intervention help adults become more credible sources of support. Many young people have few adult role models who demonstrate empathy and compassion.
Coaches and mentors can make trust more possible by signaling affirmation consistently before a crisis occurs, including through language, policies, visible norms, and everyday responses to disrespect.
Key Tips for Service Providers
Help all young people feel included.
Coaches, mentors, and other adults may not always know whether the young people they work with are trans or nonbinary. Inclusive expectations should be in place for everyone so young people do not have to disclose personal information before they can feel ready, safe, and fully included. Early and thorough preparation will benefit everyone, including those who transitioned earlier in life, those who may not be out yet, or young people who are out in some parts of their life and not others.
Model Inclusive Language
Pay attention to the way you speak to everyone, including jokes, casual remarks, and even encouraging statements.
Young people notice how adults speak in formal instruction, casual remarks, jokes, and side conversations. Coaches and mentors should model inclusive, nonjudgmental language because it teaches young people what behavior is expected in the space, and shows care and concern.
Check In Consistently with Young People.
Coaches and mentors may notice changes in mood, behavior, attendance, or performance before other adults do. Regular check-ins create predictable opportunities for young people to ask for help, disclose harm, or name what they need to participate safely.
Intervene when Bullying and Harassment occur
Adults help create supportive environments by intervening promptly when they see bullying or harassment by young people or adults. A strong response names the behavior, stops it, protects the targeted young person’s privacy, and follows up with accountability and support rather than treating the incident as ordinary conflict. By stopping harmful behaviors, adults are not only helping increase safety, but they are demonstrating to young people that they can be trusted.
Celebrate Strengths and Successes
Celebrating successes can be healing because it helps young people recognize their strengths and experience support from trusted adults. Coaches and mentors are in a unique position to see the way a young person changes over time and help them celebrate wins – whether it’s learning a new skill, playing well as a team, or learning how to cope with defeat. Encouragement and healthy coping support help young people to grow and heal.
Use Affirming Names and Pronouns
Sports are an especially great place to encourage nicknames and support youth in choosing their own names. When young people ask to be called by a different name or pronoun, use that name and pronoun consistently and with their permission in each setting. Respecting affirming names and pronouns communicates safety and reduces the burden on young people to repeatedly correct adults.
Avoid Gendered Language
One way to support trans young people is by avoiding gendered language that reinforces stereotypes or excludes young people, such as “hit like a girl,” “boys are stronger,” or unnecessary divisions by boys and girls. Use words like team, group, athlete, participant, or young people.
The most important role for coaches and mentors is to make support visible before a young person has to ask for it: affirm identity, protect privacy, create inclusive teams, intervene in harm, and connect youth to appropriate help when safety concerns arise.
Resources
Changing Minds: Use this resource to reinforce trauma-informed approaches that help adults build safety, connection, and resilience with young people.
Coaches Corner: Use Coaches Corner for sports-based prevention tools that help coaches address harmful behavior and model respectful team culture.
Athletes as Leaders: Use Athletes as Leaders to support youth leadership, peer accountability, and prevention messaging within athletic settings.