Domestic and Sexual Violence

Domestic and sexual violence (DV/SA) advocates can play a critical role in supporting trans/nonbinary survivors. Trans survivors seek services for many of the same reasons as cisgender survivors.  Some trans survivors will have additional barriers to safety, have experienced unique dynamics of violence, or have concerned about how they will be treated by service providers.

Providers do not need to be experts on trans identities and experiences to provide effective support.

They do need to understand how gender, discrimination, and previous experiences with service systems can affect survivors’ experiences of violence and their options for safety. Most importantly, providers can listen to each survivor, respect their autonomy, and adapt services to meet their individual needs.

Here are some of the main things you can do:

Use a trauma-informed, empowerment-based approach.

Recognize that survivors’ experiences of trauma, discrimination, and interactions with other systems may affect how they respond to providers and services. Work to minimize additional harm, understand each survivor’s needs, provide meaningful options, and support their decision-making.

Respect each person’s gender and self-identification.

Use the name and pronouns a survivor asks you to use. Avoid making assumptions about someone’s gender based on their appearance, voice, body, clothing, identification, or other characteristics. Survivors have the right to define their own identities and make decisions about their bodies and gender expression.

Make services equitably available.

Examine whether eligibility requirements, screening practices, physical spaces, support groups, shelter arrangements, or other aspects of your programs create unnecessary barriers based on gender. Whenever possible, provide all-gender options and do not require identification or proof of gender simply to access services.

Listen before deciding what someone needs.

A survivor’s priorities may be different from what an advocate expects. One person may urgently need housing; while others may need financial assistance, safety planning, emotional support, healthcare access, or legal advocacy. Let survivors identify what safety and support mean for them.

Be transparent about services and limitations.

Clearly explain what your organization can provide, what information you collect and why, any limits to confidentiality, and whether other systems—such as law enforcement—will be involved. When your organization cannot meet a particular need, work with the survivor to identify other options rather than simply telling them, “We can’t help you.”

“Really just having to be in that situation where I’m arguing with someone for the basic right of having a safe place to sleep. And feeling like that was so much more difficult because I was struggling with so much physical trauma… If the DV service organization wasn’t prepared to help me in that situation, truly, who is?”[1]  – FORGE Listening Session with Trans Survivors with Disabilities

Trans/nonbinary survivors regularly report to FORGE that they reached out to a domestic or sexual violence agency only to hear, “We can’t help you.” Survivors are turned away from services for a variety of reasons – services are segregated by gender or sex; the organization does not provide the type of support they need; the relationship of the survivor to the abuser does not fit in to the provider’s limited services; staff to not recognize their experience as abuse; staff simply don’t know what else to do; and many more.

Sometimes exclusion is explicit. Other times, policies and practices that appear neutral create barriers for trans/nonbinary survivors. Organizations can reduce these barriers by examining not only whether their policies are inclusive on paper, but also what survivors actually experience when they seek help.

The barriers below apply to many different types of organizations. For specifics on hotline, shelter, and support groups, check out those pages.

Gender-segregated services

Gender– or sex-segregated services are any services that are only available to people of one gender.

Most frequently this is seen with shelter and support groups but can apply to any type of service.

There are several challenges with this approach.

• Frequently excludes nonbinary people and those earlier in transition/who don’t “pass”.
• Requires some sort of gender verification.
• Often is not equitable. For example, there are groups for women but not for men.
• May pressure people into choosing a group they are not identified with.
• Stretches thin limited resources.
• Sometimes rely on gender-based stereotypes.

All-gender services and identity-specific services can both have value. Problems arise when identity-specific services become the only option available, leaving some survivors without an equivalent service.  Some people do benefit from being in groups with people who share identities or experiences with them. Women’s groups, queer groups, Black groups all have many benefits. These can be especially beneficial in creating opportunities to discuss shared experiences of oppression. One helpful aspect of these groups is that people may be more likely to share cultural connections, thus creating a distinct group culture. Identity-specific groups may develop shared language, cultural references, humor, norms, and ways of talking about experiences that help participants feel understood without having to explain every aspect of their identity.

DV/SA organizations do not have unlimited resources and must often make choices about how many different groups they can offer. Some organizations default to offering a “women’s” group or shelter, because the majority of their clients are women, without analyzing whether all-gender services may serve more of their clients without sacrificing the quality of service.

Organizations can be strategic about their resources – money, staff, space, partnership – and find ways to maximize the survivors served in equitable ways that are not linked to identity.

• Gender-Integrated Shelters: Experience and Advicev – https://forge-forward.org/resource/gender-integrated-shelters/
• April 2026 Technical Assistance Question: Equal Access Rule (Housing)

Previous harm and mistrust of service providers

Trans/nonbinary communities have been hurt by many service providers. Nearly all trans people have had a negative experience or know someone who has.

As a result, hesitation or distrust when entering DV/SA services may reflect previous experiences rather than unwillingness to engage with an advocate.

Service providers can address this in multiple ways.  Learn and practice trauma-informed services and cultural responsiveness. DV/SA organizations can work to ensure that their services are not causing harm and further are meeting the needs of trans/nonbinary survivors. This involves staff training that includes information and skills-building, routine organizational assessments, and, if needed, diversifying or changing programs and services.

DV/SA organizations can also acknowledge the harm caused by their organizations or other organizations. Acknowledging this harm can help build trust with survivors.

Organizations do not need to become defensive when survivors describe previous harmful experiences with service providers. Acknowledging that discrimination and mistreatment occur—and that a survivor has good reasons to be cautious—can help build trust.

Discomfort with law enforcement involvement

Many trans people have had prior negative experiences with law enforcement and feel uncomfortable or unsafe in engaging with police.

DV/SA organizations can help by understanding why some survivors do not want to – or cannot safety –  engage with law enforcement.  Advocates should respect survivors’ decisions about police involvement whenever legally possible, clearly explain any circumstance in which law enforcement may become involved, and develop meaningful options for safety and support that do not depend on involving police or the criminal justice system.

Rejection from services.

Trans/nonbinary survivors report high rates of being denied services from DV/SA organizations. This barrier to services is exacerbated by additional life experiences such as when trans clients disclose mental health conditions, suicidality, substance use, or sex work.  A survivor may be screened out because staff do not recognize them as a survivor, believe their needs are too complex, interpret trauma responses as inappropriate behavior, or rely on policies that unnecessarily restrict eligibility. Unconscious bias can play a large part in these decisions and the ability of advocates to listen to and build rapport with survivors. Being rejected or removed from services can have a major impact on survivors. It can affect their ability to trust other providers in the future and may keep them from reaching out for needed help.

Organizations can address this in two main ways. The first is to assess their processes for intakes and removing people from services to look for gaps and bias. Staff may need additional training or policies may need to be updated to ensure that DV/SA survivors are eligible for services. Secondly, providers can work to build the trust of survivors who have negative experiences in the past (whether with their organization or another agency). This may look like reassuring survivors that they can come and go from services as they need, working to build trust within the community, and creating flexible intakes.

Failure to recognize relationship and tactics of abuse

Providers may unintentionally rely on a narrow image of what domestic violence looks like: a monogamous heterosexual couple, a clearly defined intimate partnership, shared housing, or a relationship of a particular duration. Trans/nonbinary survivors’ relationships—like anyone else’s—may include dating, casual relationships, nonmonogamous or polyamorous relationships, chosen family, sexual relationships, or relationships in which housing, money, caregiving, sex, drugs, or other resources are exchanged.

A specific way that trans/nonbinary survivors are turned away from DV/SA agencies is by the agency not recognizing that what happened to them was assault or abuse or by not recognizing their relationship as legitimate. For example, some DV agencies work exclusively with people who are being abused by an intimate partner. Some trans/nonbinary people may be in nonmonogamous relationships or not living with a partner or experiencing abuse early in a dating relationship. Agencies can examine whether their policies or practices would exclude someone in these situations.

Additionally, the tactics of abuse or violence that trans survivors experience may not be the same as those cisgender people experience. If advocates are not able to recognize these tactics as abuse or violence, then a survivor may be excluded from needed services.

Some trans-specific tactics include:

• Intentionally misgendering or deadnaming someone as a form of abuse;
• Threatening to out someone;
• Hiding or barring access to hormones or gender-affirming items;
• Destroying gender-affirming clothing or supplies;
• Preventing access to healthcare;
• Exploiting dysphoria or body-related sensitivities;
• Threatening to disclose someone’s trans identity to employers, family, landlords or others;
• Telling a survivor that no one will date, believe, or support them because they are trans;
• Using discrimination or fear of police/service providers to prevent someone from seeking help.

Organizations can take many steps to ensure that survivors are not inappropriately turned away from services.

• Train staff in assessing for intimate partner violence that includes trans people and trans-specific tactics;
• Consider how your organization defines relationship abuse. Is it inclusive of people who do not live with a partner, have been dating a short time, or are not monogamous?
• What resources exist for people being hurt by someone they are in a transactional relationship with (such as someone who pays them for sex or who they provide drugs to in order for a place to sleep; or a boss or coworker)? What resources exist for people being hurt by someone they don’t know well – a one-time date, acquaintance, neighbor, etc.?
  • Can your organization provide resources? What would it take to do so if you are not already?

More details on barriers to specific DV/SA services are available in their specific service sections. See also general barriers in intro section.

Services that don’t meet the needs of trans/nonbinary survivors.

DV/SA organizations often struggle to balance funding and services. Much of funding for DV/SA work is for “traditional” services such as shelter, support groups, one-on-one advocacy, and hotlines. These are all critical, life-saving services. Trans/nonbinary survivors do utilize all of these services. However, many trans people find that they still have unmet needs. These needs include housing, advocacy, effective safety planning, healthcare, financial resources, and more. The needs may be unmet because the agency does not offer that service, there are no local referrals, or the agency does not have the skills and training to provide the service. Each of these problems will require a unique solution.

Offer flexible services. The more DV/SA organizations can adapt to meet the needs of individual survivors, the better survivors will be supported. To do this, organizations can prepare their staff to be creative, to listen to survivors about their needs, and to broaden their understanding of what is possible. Here are a couple of examples:

Housing

Trans survivors may not want or be able to live in single-family homes.  A survivor’s safest or most sustainable housing option may not fit traditional assumptions about relocation. Some survivors may need to remain in their current living environment, live with roommates or chosen family, stay close to affirming community resources, or relocate to an area where they can more safely live as a trans/nonbinary person. Organizations can help people stay in their homes by providing assistance with bills or safety materials. When assisting with relocation, consider how to help survivors who want or need roommates, how to help people live in trans-friendly neighborhoods or areas, and acknowledge how difficult it may be for a person to relocate, especially if they have trans-affirming providers and resources in a specific area.

Individual advocacy

Survivors may need to talk about gender-related topics in addition to or instead of partner violence. An advocate may initially view gender-affirming care as outside the scope of DV/SA advocacy. For the survivor, however, that concern may be inseparable from their safety, healing, housing, healthcare, finances, or relationship with the person harming them.

Financial Assistance

Organizations can provide assistance with replacing gender affirming items, meeting healthcare costs, or the other varied financial needs of survivors. Keep in mind that many trans/nonbinary survivors may not be eligible for or comfortable using government programs like Crime Victims Compensation. Flexible financial assistance may help survivors replace clothing, binders, breast forms, wigs, prosthetics, identification documents, medications, or other gender-affirming items that were lost, withheld, damaged, or destroyed. Assistance may also help with healthcare, transportation, housing, communication, and other safety-related expenses.

Referrals

Many traditional referrals may not be trans-affirming resources. A referral is only useful if the survivor can realistically and safely use it. Organizations can work on developing a robust set of referrals, verifying that commonly used referral partners are accessible to trans and nonbinary survivors.

Developing new or adapted services

Organizations may identify unmet needs in the community. Providers can listen to trans/nonbinary survivors and meet with others out in the community to start recognizing what gaps exist in their service area. In some cases, needs can be met by changing or restructuring existing programs, shifting a focus, or broadening options.

Signs of an trans-affirming DV/SA organization include:

• Services are equitably available to people of all genders.
• Staff do not make assumptions about someone’s gender based on their voice, appearance, body, identification, or legal documents.
• Every potential client receives clear information about who can access services and inclusivity.
• All-gender bathrooms are available.
• Privacy is protected in addition to confidentiality.
• Intake and screening practices focus on survivors’ experiences and needs rather than assumptions about identity or relationships.
• Staff are trained in trauma-informed de-escalation and conflict management.
• Staff are trained in addressing harmful behaviors between survivors.
• A wide variety of supplies are available to all survivors, including clothing, grooming supplies, hygiene products, and other basic resources for people of any gender, body, culture, or need.
• Staff regularly receive opportunities to strengthen their knowledge of a wide variety of cultures, communities, identities, and experiences. Staff have skills to adapt their services to meet the needs of survivors.
• Referral lists include providers who are trans-informed and provide services to people of all genders. Lists are regularly updated for eligibility and competency.

Trans and nonbinary survivors are included in organizational assessments and program development, as well as recruited for staff and board positions.

Being trauma-informed is an ongoing process of learning, reflection, and assessing the quality of services. Trauma-informed organizations understand what trauma is and how it can affect people; recognize the effects of individual and collective trauma, including generational trauma; work to prevent retraumatization; and promote safety, transparency, collaboration, choice, empowerment, and cultural responsiveness.

In day-to-day practices, this might include:

• Explaining to survivors what information is being collected during intake and why it is needed.
• Asking before touching someone, entering their personal space, or involving another person in a conversation without each person’s consent.
• Recognizing that conflict can and does occur in shelters and other high-stress environments. Responding in ways that are calming, with -de-escalation and problem-solving, rather than punishing people or removing them from services.
• Understanding that people accessing services may yell, cuss, startle easily, or not trust you. Many survivors may be angry, distrustful, withdrawn, highly alert to their surroundings, or hesitant to share information.
• Offering choices whenever possible and explaining when a choice cannot be offered.
• Deferring to the survivor’s choice and agency.

In addition to trauma related to domestic or sexual violence, some trans/nonbinary people may also have a history of being harassed or mistreated related to their gender(s). Some have had harmful experiences with healthcare providers, law enforcement, schools, shelters, social services, family members, employers, or other institutions.

These experiences may affect how a survivor interacts with your organization.  For example, a survivor might:

• React strongly, with anger or other emotions, to being misgendered (no matter the circumstances).
• Be hesitant or refuse to share information with staff.
• Closely watch for signs that staff or other participants may be hostile or disrespectful.
• Try hard to befriend people; while tolerating a lot of hostility or microaggressions.
• Have very strict personal rules about how they dress or appear when around others.
• Talk openly and explicitly about sex, violence, gender, or other negative experiences.
• Notice comments, interactions, or microaggressions that others may not be aware of.

None of these responses should be assumed simply because someone is trans/nonbinary. Instead, trauma-informed practice asks providers to remain curious about what a survivor needs, avoid interpreting behavior outside of its context, and work collaboratively with the survivor to create safety.

Angel (she/they) is a Latine nonbinary trans femme. She started sleeping with one of her roommates 6 months ago. Chris (he/him) is a Latine gay cis man. He compliments what he calls Angel’s “drag queen persona” or when Angel appears more masculine. He frequently insults Angel’s nonbinary identity and uses he/she pronouns for Angel based on their appearance not on her identity. Angel says that Chris “pressures” them into having sex, and she feels like she can’t say no. Chris has recently spent Angel’s rent money on alcohol and gifts for Angel. Chris has become increasingly jealous of Angel’s other friendships and dates. Though they have an open relationship, Chris gets angry every time Angel sees someone else, demanding details and sex.

Angel said that she wants help setting boundaries with Chris. They would like Chris to use condoms and to pay her back money that he owes.

Angel works at a chain restaurant. She doesn’t have any savings. She’s lived in this area for 2 years and has been out as trans for one year. Her friendship circles changed when she came out. She mostly hangs out with her roommates. She likes her coworkers but doesn’t spend time with them except right after work.

Discussion questions:

1. What services would your agency provide to Angel?
2. What barriers might they face in accessing your services?
3. How would you respond to Angel’s request with help setting boundaries?